Free Phyllis Diller - What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

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Phyllis Diller - My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

Phyllis Diller - My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

John Cooper Clarke - If you don't like The Ramones, you don't like rock 'n'roll. They're like The Beach Boys without the sea.

John Cooper Clarke - If you don't like The Ramones, you don't like rock 'n'roll. They're like The Beach Boys without the sea.

Joseph Campbell - I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.

Joseph Campbell - I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.

Simon Sinek - Leadership is not about the next election, it's about the next generation.

Simon Sinek - Leadership is not about the next election, it's about the next generation.

Marilyn Monroe - Designers want me to dress like Spring, in billowing things. I don't feel like Spring. I feel like a warm red Autumn

Marilyn Monroe - Designers want me to dress like Spring, in billowing things. I don't feel like Spring. I feel like a warm red Autumn

Marcel Wanders - I like swimming. I like the beach. I like fast cars. I like speedboats.

Marcel Wanders - I like swimming. I like the beach. I like fast cars. I like speedboats.

Eudora Welty - The excursion is the same when you go looking for your sorrow as when you go looking for your joy.

Eudora Welty - The excursion is the same when you go looking for your sorrow as when you go looking for your joy.

Ron Chernow - I have developed a very strong partiality for the dead: they don't talk back, they don't sue, and they don't have angry relatives.

Ron Chernow - I have developed a very strong partiality for the dead: they don't talk back, they don't sue, and they don't have angry relatives.

Phyllis McGinley - Please to put a nickel, please to put a dime. How petitions trickle in at Christmas time!

Phyllis McGinley - Please to put a nickel, please to put a dime. How petitions trickle in at Christmas time!

Dario Argento -If you don't like my movies, don't watch them

Dario Argento -If you don't like my movies, don't watch them

Tina Fey - I don't enjoy any kind of danger or volatility. I don't have that kind of 'I love the bad guys' thing. No, no thank you. I like nice people.

Tina Fey - I don't enjoy any kind of danger or volatility. I don't have that kind of 'I love the bad guys' thing. No, no thank you. I like nice people.

Kaley Cuoco - I like to be home on a Friday night. I don’t go out. I don’t go to clubs. It’s not my thing. I sit at home with my glass of wine and watch hours of reality TV.

Kaley Cuoco - I like to be home on a Friday night. I don’t go out. I don’t go to clubs. It’s not my thing. I sit at home with my glass of wine and watch hours of reality TV.

William Christopher Handy - Life is like a trumpet - if you don't put anything into it, you don't get anything out of it.

William Christopher Handy - Life is like a trumpet - if you don't put anything into it, you don't get anything out of it.

Melanie White - “You gotta love dads. At my wedding, when I tripped on my wedding dress and fell flat on my face, Dad said, “Don’t worry, you’ll do better next time.”

Melanie White - “You gotta love dads. At my wedding, when I tripped on my wedding dress and fell flat on my face, Dad said, “Don’t worry, you’ll do better next time.”

Tyler, The Creator - I don't like people around me sad. I like making people happy.

Tyler, The Creator - I don't like people around me sad. I like making people happy.