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Phyllis Diller - What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Johnny Carson - Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Frank Butler - I get a little behind during Lent, but it comes out even at Christmas.
Phyllis McGinley - Please to put a nickel, please to put a dime. How petitions trickle in at Christmas time!
Bernard Manning - I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
Taylor Caldwell - Don't let the past steal your present. This is the message of Christmas: We are never alone.
Garrison Keillor - A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
Frances Wright - Pets, like their owners, tend to expand a little over the Christmas period.
Freya Stark - Christmas... is not an external event at all, but a piece of one's home that one carries in one's heart.
Victor Borge - Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
Garry Moore - Christmas is, of course, the time to be home - in heart as well as body.
Paul Engle - The sharpest memory of our old-fashioned Christmas eve is my mother's hand making sure I was settled in bed.
Bryan White - Christmas makes me happy no matter what time of year it comes around.
Peter Billingsley - A Christmas Story' has always meant a lot to me personally.
E. B. White - To perceive Christmas through its wrappings becomes more difficult with every year.
Norman Vincent Peale - Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
Winston Churchill - Christmas is a season not only of rejoicing but of reflection.
Jerry Seinfeld - That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.
Dr. Seuss - Maybe Christmas, the Grinch thought, doesn't come from a store.
Washington Irving - Christmas is a season for kindling the fire for hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.
Dale Evans - Christmas, my child, is love in action. Every time we love, every time we give, it's Christmas.
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